In the beginning, never before have I known what hypnotized me to write this story. Perhaps, there have been a great number of people reading the story – the mystery behind the song composed by Ega, the Carame band vocalist whose unfortunate life ended on the end of a knife because of love.
Her lover’s death out of a brawl when their love was blooming left her with such an unbearable pain that she chose to end her life tragically. Next to her body was found a song note she had written for the last time. A song that is so moving that will make everyone listening feel the touch to understand what the meaning is inside.
The song became the legacy of their love story she left behind. I may be too impudent to write this story. However, it has never crossed my mind to write it since my first writing. There are not only a lot of high school students singing this song as though it were their anthem but also radio playing it and even more than 2000 people have downloaded the song in my blog. It has made everybody feel the empathy for their love story and I have decided to share the story to all of you hoping that you can understand the meaning of love and marvel at how great the faith in love is.
to download the song try this link
The Last Lyric – Inspired from The Death of Ega, the Songwriter of “Jauh”
Sunday, February 2nd, 2008 by Agnes Davonar
As this is simply a fiction, I am illustrating the lyric as well as the song I heard and listened to from Ega, Carame leading vocalist who committed suicide out of the death of her lover.
May this song at least help you to understand their tragic love story!
Songwriter: Caramel & Ega
Chords: Black Plankton
G D Em Bm
Pernah ada rasa cinta (The love we used to have)
C G Am D
Antara kita kini tinggal kenangan (Now is nothing but memory between us)
Ingin kulupakan (I would like to forget)
Semua tentang dirimu (everything about you)
C G Am D G
Namun tak lagi
G d Em Bm
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku (Far you go leaving me all alone)
C G Am D
Disini aku merindukan dirimu (Here I am missing you)
G D Em Bm
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu (Now I’m trying to find someone new)
C G Am D G
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu oh kekasih (But never be anyone but you oh my love)
I would like to have your breath if I die
Can I have your breath if I die
THE LAST LYRIC OF THE SONG
By Agnes Davonar
This story is inspired from The Ega’s tragic love story that ended her life.
The heavy pour of rain was still falling upon the house where Angel sat still in her room gazing at the window of her room in peace while waiting next to it, hoping to see a glimpse of a lovely rainbow to chase away drops of rain that ornamented the exterior of her house. Then from where she was sitting, she saw a man get off his motorcycle soaking wet. She noticed he was taking shelter, feeling cold; however, her eyes kept still looking at a guitar bag that he was protecting as if it had been more precious than his own well-being. Feeling compassionate, she went out of the house.
With an umbrella on her hand, she approached the man. She opened the gate.
“Excuse me! Do come in, you don’t want to be caught under the rain, do you?” she offered and the man looked at her with a smile.
“Are you sure it’s ok?” replied the man in a nice manner.
“Yeah of course, I live all by myself in this house. It’s pouring now come on!”
The man had no sooner parked his motorcycle in Angel’s simple front yard than she asked him to sit down in the terrace of her house. She brought him a dry towel to dry his own self. Yet, he would rather dry his guitar than himself, making Angel giggle watching the way this white skinned and slanted-eyed man behaving.
”Why are you cleaning your guitar first rather than yourself?”
“Oh it’s alright! This is my first and foremost soul, so I guess it’s also important!”
“Wow, what is that guitar for?”
“I’m Anton. I’m a guitarist of an amateur band called Superband.”
“Oh is that so? No wonder I hear that a musician always sees his own musical instrument as his own soul and I thought it was only a tall-story people like to talk about but I guess it’s true now, right?!”
Answering in a subtle giggle, “Ha ha, I suppose so.”
“So can you play a musical instrument too?”
“Hm…,” Angel paused in silence staring at the man’s classical guitar.
“I play a piano a little. I once had a regular lesson but now I don’t think I’m as good as I used to be. Too bad I can’t play a guitar; still I would love to learn if I had time ‘cause I’m quite busy with my college work, you know!”
“Oh really? Where do you go to college to?”
“STIKOM – it’s nearby. I’m not originally from this town. This house is only a rent and that’s why I live here all alone!”
“Yeah…it looks like it!”
Next, Angel offered him a cup of hot coffee. Anton was so pleased with the kindness of the girl he had just met. And before the two of them knew it, they had been in an unbelievably deep conversation – Close at both first sight and meeting.
The rain was beginning to stop when Anton realized that he had to go back to the café where he worked, so he immediately said goodbye to Angel. She was so happy to get to know him.
“Thanks for your hospitality, I’ll certainly return the favor one day, ok?!”
“Sure enough words of a musician are always charmingly romantic! Hmm…how about you teach me how to play guitar?!”
”You’ve got to be kidding me! I will gladly teach a lovely girl like you how. Let me see when I have free time, I’ll come by to your place.”
“Promise me, ok?”
“Ok, I will! It’s a promise.”
And just like that, their first meeting became the beginning of their relationship because ever since Anton kept his promise to teach Angel how to play guitar from nothing to strumming her first tune on the classic guitar he had lent, Angel’s interest in music was slowly growing and even she would always be waiting for her new guitar teacher in every chance she could get. Anton himself was a good guy making a constantly nice perfect impression in every quality time they spent.
Apart from everything, Anton also saw great potential in Angel’s lovely voice. Fortunately, at the same time one of his band personnel decided to quit the job to find a better job opportunity than being some band personnel. At first Angel hesitated to take the lead singer position; however, in the end with Anton’s full support and encouragement, she changed her mind and boldly stepped up to take the chance.
It turned out that Anton’s intuition to take Angel into the band had always been right. Their band attracted so many cafés to come up with concert offers. Angel was eagerly focusing more on singing causing her to neglect her study and with that, she realized that there was another thing she was hiding from her band – she fell in love with Anton – despite the fact that he had always firmly reminded the band to put first their goal to become a successful band before their personal matters – even love.
Sadly, the band’s big name was not enough to get them to recording an album as a few music producers turned them down and as a result Anton went desperate; yet, Angel was there to not only give encouragement but also submit her love to Anton and as an effect of it, obviously their love was nowhere to be hidden. Since then, they had been two lovers staying faithful to each other always. As time went by, their dreams of becoming a successful band finally came true followed by their beautiful love story.
Their band name was later named “Caramel” with two new personnel joining, brother – sister: Agnes on piano and Hendra on violin, now the five of them: Angel, Anton, Nando, Agnes and Hendra were ready to reach higher for their dreams!
All of them made a commitment to being superstars and eventually one chance came right to them when a band audition was held in their town. Nando and Anton had always been best friends since they were little; on the other hand, Nando’s bad temper had given himself trouble when he had such an argument with one personnel from another band that seemed to envy the success of Carame band that got him into a fight.
While Angel was beginning to be very skillful at composing a song with a guitar, she was playing truant more and more in her lecture as well just for the sake of her band. And yet she was willing to do all of that for her dreams and love for her Anton. Their love was so deep and difficult to break off ever. And on a day that was the most beautiful day in their life – they were romantically spending the time together when Angel asked
“Ton, what dreams do you have when we become successful one day?”
With a silly laugh, trying to elicit her curiosity he replied, “Are you sure you wanna know?”
“Yes, come on! What is it?”
“I want us to be married, I want to be the husband of the girl I love most in the whole world – She is you!!” Anton responded.
“Thank you my love! So do I! There’s no man in my life I would rather live with except you – Only you’ve made my life so wonderful and one day if should someone else be the one in my life, it’d be no one else but this guitar!” declared Angel while showing the guitar Anton had bought when she had just started learning music.
Anton responded with a giggle, “How come the guitar and I be the same?”
“Because I learned from you. Do you remember the first time we met? You said this guitar was your first and foremost soul?”
Then both of them laughed and went into each other’s arms.
“Thanks, Ngel! Have you ever come to think that we perhaps are just in the most amazing destiny God has set for? May what we’ve always dreamed of be never lost even if death do us apart!” Anton said.
Angel replied with confidence, “If death does us apart with blood, I shall go with your blood. If God sets us apart with soul, then I shall go with your soul!”
Suddenly silence engulfed Anton as he listened to which his woman had spoken. – So delightful, yet so sad to express.
“Don’t speak such a thing please! As if I were leaving you.”
The time had already come for the whole band to go for the making the concert audition. They succeeded in making the final and were now competing with the band whose personnel had had a fight with Nando. Angel, who was having an exam at that time, decided to leave for the audition on her own by taxi and that went the same with Nando and Anton, so did the siblings Agnes and Hendra.
Everything went so well for Angel and for everyone else who had been waiting at the spot – so well for everyone except Anton and Nando who had not shown up yet. Knowing that they would have an audition soon enough, all of them became so confused and panics while the cell number of the two boys was difficult to reach. In her worries, in five minutes’ time to the audition a sudden call from Nando was connected to Angel’s cell phone.
“Angel! It’s me, Nando” a voice of Nando’s came from the ear piece.
“Where have you guys been? Come quickly! We’ll be in an audition shortly after this”
“Angel, I’m very sorry. This time I must apologize”
“Apologizing for what?” asked Angel, beginning to feel exasperated.
“Anton and I will not be able to come to the audition just this once. We’ve got something urgent to do. This is really important for our lives.”
“What the…?! But how would this band go to the audition without you guys?” Angel exclaimed.
“Angel, we’ve dreamt to be a big band all this time and you know it, right? This is our chance. Please don’t spoil it just because we can’t be there now. I’m begging YOU!! Just this once don’t ask why, keep our dreams alive Ngel! PLEASEee!” sobbed Nando.
Angel stayed silent and was getting apprehensive with Nando’s sobbing.
Then she asked him, “Where’s Anton?”
“Anton…umm…he’s, he went to the restroom. He’s having a stomachache! You go, hurry now to the audition, ok? I will call you again after that! Good luck, my friend!” Nando hung up leaving Angel helpless but to call Nando’s name loudly several times.
Angel looked at Agnes’ and Hendra’s eyes and knew that their dreams would not fade away just like that. Now that she had to fight for their band herself, she went to the audition room with high spirit and together with the rests sang a song that was their hit. There, one of the judges asked where the other two personnel were curiously. Spontaneously Angel answered that they could not make it; nevertheless, she managed to convince the judges that they were able to make the audition just with the three of them.
Audition ended with Angel’s success in winning the audition. Excitement and happiness came across their faces and hugs and kisses colored the atmosphere with their trophy shown off and their bright future waiting. But Nando’s call broke all those things and Angel answered it.
“Nando, We did it! We are the winner! We’re going for the recording!” shouted Angel.
“Congratulations guys but I must be honest to you. Anton….Anton’s in a critical condition! He’s in hospital. You must come down here immediately!”
“WHAT?! What kinda jokes are you pulling Nando? You said he had a stomacheache!”
“Look, I am not! It’s a long story. Please come over here right away!”
“Alright I’ll be there!” Angel replied.
Fear and anxiety accompanied Angel as she rushed to the hospital. To her great shock, she found Nando with several severe wounds on his head. This time she was more than certain that something terrible had already happened to her beloved Anton, and sure enough her deepest and darkest fear would soon become a reality when she saw the love of her life lying there on the Emergency Room bed with the life support equipment to keep him steady. Angel quickly stormed in approaching him and suddenly broke the silence with a one long hysterical scream followed by tears rolling down on her face.
Sorrow struck her as she tried to put her arms around Anton but everything was too late for her as the doctor and nurses pulled her away. Not a single thing could she do but to long for holding him in her arms once more for the last time as Anton gave his last breath. The doctors noticed a slight movement on Anton’s hand as if Anton had wanted to return Angel’s hug as well, as if he had wanted to say good bye to his love before they confirmed his time of death.
Angel was taken out of the room in hysteria, still not being able to believe that her love was gone. Then, Agnes came to her and hugged her giving her encouragement all she could. In her tears Angel wondered, “My Anton why? Anton WHY??”
“Why could this happen to me? You owe me a one big explanation!” as she cried out loud to Nando.
“I’m terribly sorry Ngel! It’s all my fault! None of this would have happened if I just had not started a fight on our way to the audition. Anton was stabbed by a knife while trying to help me out of a fight with a bunch of thugs in the street.
Not a single word came out of Angel’s mouth for a moment as she tried hard to pretend that none of this tragedy had already happened. She mentioned that all of this was just a dream a few times but then the doctor came to them out of the Emergency Room with a gloom look saying…
“I’m very sorry! We’ve tried to bring him back but he suffered from a major vital wound on his neck because of a knife that caused several breathing difficulties.”
The doctor paused taking a deep breath before saying, “Your friend, Anton is gone.”
Moving quickly, Angel cried hysterically and went in, approaching Anton lying coldly and stiffly like he had been sleeping peacefully.
“Ton, if you cannot breathe, let me give you my own breath so that you can stay here with me. Don’t leave me! Ton, oh no Ton!!”
The love story ended with sad memories.
Angel was never able to forget Anton at all. She tried to live without her lover and yet Anton’s ghost from the past kept haunting her mind and in her terrible grief, she saw the guitar Anton had given her as the remaining part of Anton’s she had. She picked it up and began strumming some tunes creating a beautiful song in the end; suddenly a promise she once had made crossed her mind.
This brought back happiness not only to Agnes and Hendra but also to Nando, especially when Angel told them she was ready to come back to singing. On hearing this, they did not waste a single opportunity to hold a concert in their campus as a token to support Angel’s come back from her despair.
In spite of Angel’s skinny figure which appeared different from the way she used to be, she had not lost a touch of her singing talent and music. On top of that, this opportunity brought them fame because a great number of media and TV stations came to have a live broadcast of the concert.
Angel stood facing the audience with full strength. Her eyes came to one corner that brought a flashback of Anton who used to stand there and spark his warm smile when Angel was singing.
There, on that big stage Angel gave everybody her last words.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I made this song in a time of whether I should give up or keep moving on. But I believe that one day this song will represent the dream of our band to be big – Dreams to be a big star! I’d like to dedicate this song to the man I always love that has gone forever.” said Angel in sorrow without shedding a tear.
Slowly everyone in the audience fell into deep sentimental silence, listening to the Angel’s strumming the guitar and her beautiful voice that went hand in hand with her song. Some were so carried away that they shed some tears as well, some were listening so emotionally that they could feel what actually Angel wanted to say in
her song. A recording businessman was so touched listening to the song he wanted to promote the Caramel Band.
After the successful concert, Angel said good bye and asked the other personnel to let her go home to take a rest, so they allowed her without realizing at all that that would be the last time they saw her. That night Angel committed suicide slitting her wrist and to her friends’ shock when they arrived there to tell about how their band successfully had got a recording contract, they found her body drenched in blood while holding a lyric dedicated as her last gift for the whole world she had just left.
The song later became a hit and left a terrible grief.
I TRULY APOLOGIZE TO ANY PARTY OR ANYONE WHO KNOWS WELL THE SONG WRITER FOR ANY UNINTENDED OFFENCE OCCURS IN MY WRITING. IT IS ONCE AGAIN ONLY A FICTION DEDICATED TO THE SONG WRITER AND THANKS FOR